The Mirror, the Mentor, and the Movement
Welcome to my very first blog! I am so thrilled to finally share this space with you as I reflect on a whirlwind year of growth and gratitude. This blog marks the beginning of a deeper conversation about what it truly means to lead with our humanity at the forefront. As I prepare for the release of my book next year, I am also excited to announce that the Leading While Human podcast, which I am co-hosting with the incredible Sean Gaillard, will officially launch in February 2026. Whether you are a teacher, an administrator, or a community builder, I invite you to join me on this journey of looking in the mirror and leading from the heart.
The Mirror, The Mentor, and The Movement: A Tribute to My Father
Over the past year, as I’ve stepped into the role of 2025 Maryland’s National Outstanding Assistant Principal of the Year and began drafting my book, I’ve come to a singular realization: The most effective leaders don’t just "do" more; they see more.
But vision is a double-edged sword. You cannot see the needs of your staff, your students, or your community clearly if you haven’t looked in the mirror first. For me, that mirror was, and still is, my father.
The Foundation: My Father’s Integrated Life
Dad was my first example of an integrated human. In a world that often demands we wear different masks for different rooms, my father didn’t have a "work face" and a "home face." He showed me that integrity is the frame that holds your life together. Because he was so grounded in who he was, he had the capacity to be present for who I was.
He taught me a lesson that now guides every hallway conversation and observation I conduct: If you aren’t whole within yourself, your leadership will always be fractured.
From the Village to the Factory: Integrity in Action My father’s journey, from the rhythmical life of an Indian village to the industrial gears of a Canadian factory, was a masterclass in leadership without a title. He was my first mentor, showing me how that "integrated life" takes shape:
The "Same Man" on the Factory Floor: He treated the shop floor with the same dignity he held at home. His "work face" was simply his face, honest, diligent, and unpretentious.
The Humility of the "New Start": Moving from a rural village in India to a foreign land as a face in a crowd takes immense humility. He showed me that status is temporary, but character is permanent.
Presence Over Pressure: He left the noise of the assembly line at the door. He was present for our family not because his life was easy, but because his internal frame was strong.
The Wisdom of the Village: He taught me that leadership isn't about being "above" people; it’s about being among them.
Before we can lead a school, we must lead ourselves. We must ensure that our "internal frame" is strong enough to support the weight of others' expectations.
The Standard, The Catalyst, and The Bridge
While my father is my foundation, I have been blessed with mentors who continue to hold up that mirror for me today.
The Standard: Principal Kafele and the “Mirror"
I recently had the honor of hosting Principal Baruti Kafele as our second guest on the Leading While Human podcast. His stance is clear: "Never leave home without your mirror." Kafele’s mirror is about accountability, the daily audit of our "why" to ensure our humanity is driving our title, not the other way around.
In the whirlwind of a school day, it is easy to feel like you are drowning, moving from one crisis to the next until the "human" is buried under the "administrator." Kafele’s mirror forces a pause. It asks us if we are showing up as the leaders our students actually need. For me, this mirror reminds me of my father’s "work face." He didn't just show up to the factory to fulfill a contract; he showed up to fulfill a purpose. When I look in my mirror, I have to ask: Am I leading with my father’s integrity, or am I just managing a building?
The Catalyst: Sean Gaillard and the "Mirror of Encouragement"
While Principal Kafele teaches us to look at ourselves, Sean Gaillard taught me how to use the mirror to change others. When I was navigating the "messy middle," Sean held up a mirror and reflected back a leader I hadn't yet recognized: a writer, a disruptor, and a voice for human leadership. Feedback tells you how you did; the "Mirror Effect" tells you who you are becoming. This is the transformative power of a mentor who sees your heart for the work. Sean’s encouragement wasn’t just about making me feel good; it was about revealing my capacity to disrupt the status quo for the sake of humanity. As an Assistant Principal, I now realize that my greatest job isn’t to evaluate my teachers, but to be a catalyst for them. Just as Sean saw the writer in me, I must see the untapped greatness in the teacher who is struggling or the student who feels invisible. We don't just reflect what is; we reflect what could be.
The Bridge: Lauren Kaufman and the Power of Story
Lauren Kaufman taught me that the mirror isn't just for us, it’s for the profession. By sharing our stories, we create a "third space" where others see their own experiences reflected. We lead while human by being brave enough to let people see the process, not just the product. Storytelling is how we bridge the gap between the factory floor and the front office. Lauren showed me that when we share our struggles and our "process," we give others permission to be imperfectly human. My father’s story of immigration and labor is a story of resilience, and by telling it, I am inviting every educator who feels like a "face in the crowd" to realize their story matters too. Writing this blog and my upcoming book isn't about self-promotion; it’s about building a bridge so that other leaders don't have to walk the path of reflection alone.
My "Why" is Simple: I Long to be the Mirror
I want to be for my teachers and students what my father, Sean, Lauren, Principal Kafele and countless mentors have been for me.
Reflection is the highest form of learning, but reflection shared is the highest form of leadership. I learned this first by watching my father. He carried the dust of a small Indian village to the grease of a Canadian factory floor, yet he never lost his center. He showed me that you don’t lead from a pedestal; you lead from the ground you stand on.
As I prepare to release my book next year, I invite you to join me. Don't just lead. Look in the mirror. See the human, the one my father taught me to value regardless of status. Then, go help someone else see themselves.
Join the Movement: Leading While Human
Dr. Sonia Matthew is the co-host of the Leading While Human podcast with Sean Gaillard, launching in February 2026.
Every four months, the Leading While Human podcast will highlight four visionary, human centered leaders in the field (one each week):
February 2026
June 2026
October 2026
Join us as we continue these conversations throughout 2026, and let’s see what 2027 will bring!
